The Princess and the Count

Not all fairy tales are written in books. Not all fairy tales end with "...and they lived happily ever after." But all fairy tales are based on love. This is the story of the princess and the Count.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a beautiful princess. The princess lived in a grand palace, and there were elegant balls and dances almost every night. She had long, black, sleek and shiny hair, contrary to most girls who wear their hair in large curls. She had fair skin, oriental eyes, a small nose, and a small mouth. She lived luxuriously, and never had to work for a living. She was the only child of the king and queen, and the king was killed in a terrible war, just before she was born. The queen raised the princess alone, giving her everything she wanted and needed. Someday, she would be the heir to the throne, and would rule the land.

The princess kept herself busy each day by doing all her favorite things. In the morning, after breakfast, she would go to the study and learn language, history and math with her private tutor. In the early afternoon, she would take out her easel and paintbrush and sit by the large window in her room, and paint the picturesque scenery before her eyes but more often, she painted people and their faces. Sometimes, she would take out her violin and play sad, sweet music, and sing when she feels like it. At night when everyone else is asleep, she would quietly walk to her private studio, put her favorite record on, slip on her dancing shoes  and gracefully practice her moves.

But there was one thing she loved to do during early evenings after dinner, when the queen was busy entertaining guests. When the sun finally set, she would secretly sneak out of the palace through the back doors, and run to the nearby enchanted forest. She always looked forward to this time of the night, since it was the only time she got to visit her special friend.

Her special friend lived in a secluded stone house in the depths of the enchanted forest. Tightening her grip on her lamp and pulling her cape closer around her body, she ran until she reached the stone house. Breathless, she raised her hand and knocked on the ancient, wooden door. She heard slow, deliberate footsteps approaching the door, the knob clicked, the door creaked and slowly opened.

She looked up, smiled and hugged the tall, gaunt, and pale man by the door. She just hugged the Count. The vicious vampire of the enchanted forest.

How they became friends was a long story. The count saved her from a grizzly bear when she was a small child, while the queen and her subjects were busy hunting deers.  Instead of sucking her blood and killing her on the spot, he walked toward the grizzly and killed it with his bear hands. Then he turned to the princess who was crying hysterically, and his heart melted. He picked her up with his blood-stained hands and embraced her, gently carried her toward his stone house and carefully mended her wounds from the grizzly. Then he returned her to the camp, before anyone came back, then turned back and transformed himself into a crow and flew back to his house, before the queen and the people could see him and try to kill him with a wooden stake through his heart. Good thing he wore a talisman, a black onyx ring, which protected him from the glaring rays of the sun. 

The princess visited him each evening after that. She would bring her paintings and show them to the Count. Sometimes, she would bring her violin and play for him. On some nights, she would bring her dancing shoes and take the Count's hand and lead him to dance. Her visits were the only sunshine in the Count's long, dark days. Her voice and her laughter were enough to make him forget for a while the wretched life he was cursed into. This went on for many years.

When the princess was of age, the queen held a ball in honor of the princess. Many princes and men of noble status from nearby and faraway kingdoms attended the celebration, each one of them dying to get a chance to dance with the princess and ask her for her hand in marriage. One particular prince caught her attention, and during their dance, she observed him intently. He was not handsome, yet he was proud and confident, strong and sure of himself. He was intelligent and made her laugh with his witty comments. When he asked for her hand, she didn't think twice and said yes. They were married shortly after.

They lived in a big castle with many servants. They were happy and loved each other. Her visits to the count ceased since she married the prince.

After a year of blissful marriage, the dark witch, in a disguise, entered their home and cursed them. The witch slipped an anti-love potion to her drink which caused her love for the prince vanish into thin air. The witch also cursed her beloved prince and turned him into a fierce one-eyed ogre, a terrible beast. He would beat her up, growl at her, and curse her. Until one day, while she was sleeping, the ogre pulled her hair and dragged her to the tower, and locked the door so she could not escape. From then on, she became a prisoner of the fierce, angry beast who was once her beloved husband.

The count, on the other hand, his senses ever sharp, heard the anguished cries of his beloved princess from millions of miles away. He immediately got his talisman, transfigured himself into a crow and flew to rescue the princess. When he reached the tower, he looked inside and saw a pitiful sight. The once elegant princess was now dressed in rags, her once shiny hair in dirty clumps. But when he looked into her eyes, it was still the same, bright eyes that he knew. Her eyes were very much alive and determined. He quickly circled the tower, flew inside an open window, and looked for the ogre and the key. The count spotted him sound asleep by the staircase and slowly and quietly took the key using his beak. He then transformed into a vampire and opened the door.

The princess rushed into his arms and held him tight, for they haven't seen each other for many years. The Count immediately took a potion from his pocket which would transform her into a dove,  so that they could escape through the window. Then they heard heavy and loud footsteps. The ogre was coming! The princess hurriedly drank the potion and turned into a dove. When they were ready to fly away, the ogre's long, powerful hands grabbed the dove's claws preventing her escape. The Count, now a crow, angrily circled the ogre's head, and after careful planning, pecked on his single eye hard. The ogre screamed, blood gushing out of his damaged eye.

The crow and the dove flew and flew until they reached the Count's stone house. There, they transformed into their original forms once again and embraced each other, exhausted from their long journey.

The princess lived at the Count's house from that day on. While the Count was sleeping in his coffin during the day, the princess would clean the house, pick flowers outside and keep herself busy. When night falls, the Count would come out and take the princess' hand and slowly twirl her into a graceful dance.

They were happy. They were happy for several sunlit and moonlit days. They fell in love even though they were as different as night and day.

After some time, the princess noticed a change in the Count. He was becoming thinner and paler. He no longer has strength to dance, though he tries hard to, to make her happy. Not long after, the princess found out the reason behind the Count's drastic change.

She found out that the Count attempted to change since he wanted the princess to be happy. He no longer went outside to hunt and kill people for their blood. Instead, he settled for small animals which were not enough to sustain him. It was making him weak. It was drying him up. Sometimes, he would look at the princess' long beautiful neck and the thoughts of warm, fresh blood almost drove him crazy, but his love for the princess kept him from doing so. In a short time, he would wither and die.

The princess could not bear the thought of the Count dying. One night, after playing a sad, sweet song with her violin she walked towards the Count and helped him stand up, for he was already too weak, and held him in a gentle embrace, swaying him in time with the music from the old record that was playing. Then she kissed him tenderly and whispered to him all her love.

The next night, the count stepped out from his coffin, feeling weaker than the previous day and saw something on the table. It was a large goblet and inside was fresh, warm blood. There was a note: "I went out hunting and shot a very large deer. I drained its blood. Drink this so you would feel better. I just went out for a walk. - Princess" The Count, so thirsty and weak, would even drink a deer's blood to somehow ease the pain he was feeling. He looked into the goblet and saw that it was filled to the brim. This would be the largest amount of blood that he would drink in months. He lifted the cup, brought it to his lips and drank. Drank until not even drop was left. It was so good. He felt a sudden rush of energy jolt through his body, as if life was breathed into him once again. He rushed to the door, eager to find the princess and thank her. Twirl her into a graceful pirouette, and dance with her all night. That was when he noticed dark, peculiar marks on the floor. They were uneven, some marks were spread, like someone dragged a cloth over it but did not manage to wipe it away.
He followed the trail of strange marks, leading him to the willow tree. The willow tree where he saved the princess from the grizzly. That was when he saw the princess sprawled on the grass with a dagger in her hand, attempting to hide herself in the bushes.

He kneeled down and cradled her head, and noticed blood gushing out of her neck. She was already so pale. Her breathing was in small gasps now, and she only had little time left. She cut her neck with the dagger, and used the goblet to catch her flowing blood. Then with the remaining strength and life she had left, she crawled out of the house in an attempt to make it to the nearby cliff, and throw herself down, so that the Count would never find her body.

"Why?!" the Count asked her, tears flowing in his eyes. "So that you could go on living. Blood is the only way to help you. My blood is all I have to offer," the princess answered with the same sharp look in her eyes, despite her dying body.

"You know I would do anything for you. I would not hesitate to give you my own life if that's what it takes," she added. "Just do me a favor. Do not forget me. When you put the record on and hear the music of our dance, remember my name." She took one last breath and smiled at the count. The princess died in the Count's arms.

Moral of the story?

The princess was utterly stupid. But then again, in love, all are stupid.

Love is a wicked thing.  Love is a burning thing. But it's like blood. It's what keeps us alive.

Aurora borealis

We were walking on the street downtown
It was a cool, crisp night
People were just getting started
Anonymity drifting
Under the glowing yellow lights
We were laughing so hard
That our sides ached
It's been a while since we had fun
It's like a breath of fresh air
Or feeling the first few rays of the summer sun
You look like a lion
Ready to pounce
But deep inside you want to be tamed
And understood
If you only knew how much I wished I could
As we talked I stopped and stared
At the sky above in awe
We were under a blanket of stars
I forgot that gravity was a law
It dawned on me like a splash
Of cold water to my face
How dangerously close you are
I looked into your eyes, my heart pounding
Strange feelings I had to fight
Your eyes reminded me of aurora
They looked like the northern lights.

How to say "pomegranate"

There are no pomegranates in the Philippines. Therefore, as confident as I am with my English speaking skills, I mispronounced it when ordering a "pomegranate mojito." The poor waitress didn't understand me, and thankfully, my American colleague spoke and told her what I was trying to say. I always  find myself laughing when I remember that, and I realized that I have a whole bunch of bloopers and life lessons that I have gone through since I first got here.

I've been here in California since August and I must say that I'm having quite an interesting adventure. I pursued grad school abroad not just for the degree, but for the experience and to immerse myself in a different culture. I've lived here for more than half a year and I must say that the lessons that I have learned and the experiences that I have gained were far beyond just Chemistry. I know that I have some friends back home who are flying to the U.S. soon, and this might help a little bit.

Lesson No. 1: Never ever leave your trash on the table after eating at a fast food restaurant.

I was with two Filipino friends last August and we ate at In n' Out Burger. I finished eating, and I got up, getting ready to leave, when my friend from New Jersey told me to get my trash and dump it in the appropriate bin. The trash bins are marked: Compost, Recyclables etc. And yes, it took me some time to figure out where to dump my plastic cup, plate, and fork.

Lesson No. 2: Always say "to go" or "for here," and not "take out" when ordering at a restaurant. And you have to figure out what vegetables and condiments to put in your burger, how would you like it done (rare, medium, well done??), and other nitty gritty detail just to order a freakin' sandwich.

I've gotten used to it by now but it used to be kind of daunting. There were times when I was tempted to just say "surprise me." You have to figure out if you want Dijon mustard, pesto mayo, or whatever. Yes, ordering food is much simpler back home.

Lesson No. 3: Be prepared to answer the question "where did you learn how to speak good English?" a million times.

It IS flattering at first, but it comes to the point when it gets old and I'm just tired of explaining over and over again that my mom taught me English before I went to school, or that we learn the language since kindergarten, and that Filipinos are such grammar nazis. Add the fact that we are overexposed to Western movies, music, books, and other forms of entertainment.

Lesson No. 4: You are bound to hear racist comments. Keep your temper in check but be ready with a witty comeback when needed.

California is teeming with Asians. Half of the students in my classes are Asian, or from an Asian descent. But there are people who are sheltered and grew up in a place where they never saw a Korean, never heard a Chinese talk, or probably never even heard of the Philippines. There was this one guy who said: "Why would I even go to the Philippines? Maybe to get firearms or something..blah blah blah." As much as I would like to kick him in the nuts and tell him off for being an insensitive bastard, I just reminded myself that it isn't worth it. But yeah, the next time I hear him say something like that, I would be ready with a scathing retort.

Lesson No. 5: Fellow Filipino grad students are among the most helpful people that you will ever meet.

My first quarter in the U.S. was hell. A lot of people probably didn't know this, but I went through a whole lot of shit the first few months I was here. You would think that after getting knocked up and raising a kid, I've already experienced it all. But no. My little girl and I had to move out of Fairfield in the middle of the fall quarter because our living arrangement fell apart, we had to find a decent but affordable place in Davis, I had to find a daycare center (by the way, child care here costs 1000$/month), I didn't know anyone, and the weather was getting colder. My daughter got sick, I had to absent myself on the day of the midterm exam, find a doctor (which is extremely hard and expensive without insurance), and study on top of all of that. During times like these, Filipino friends (and a few Asian and American friends) are angels sent from heaven. I would be forever grateful, and I would try to pay it forward as much as I can.

It's different when you experience hardships in a foreign country. Your resourcefulness and strength is tested, and it's as if life is trying to find out your limits - how determined you are to survive and if you are still willing to go on despite everything.

Lesson No. 6: Be confident, but not arrogant.

A lot of grad students are arrogant, or come across as arrogant. Face it, we don't know everything. It's not even possible. Just know your strengths and be confident enough with what you know. You would learn loads of new stuff here (I know I did), but remain humble and always look back to where you came from. It's almost the same feeling during my first day of college in UP Diliman. Everyone was either valedictorian or salutatorian. Here, your classmate is either from UC Berkeley, or Northwestern. Your professor could be from CalTech or Harvard. Hell, you could probably be even talking to the next Nobel Laureate. It's intimidating and exciting at the same time. It's a one of a kind intellectual adventure and just make the most out of it.

Lesson No. 7: Do not be afraid to ask yourself "Why the fuck am I doing this?" during times of extreme stress (like exams, failed experiments etc.).

I've asked myself the same thing countless times - while I was trying to decipher the structure of a compound from an NMR spectra, trying to figure out if the reaction is conrotatory or disrotatory (and yes, UP-IC people, it's pronounced as CON-RO-TAY-TORY and DIS-RO-TAY-TORY), or even just after having a really crappy day. Sometimes, I really don't know the answer. But I went here to learn, and I guess I AM actually learning a lot of things.

Lesson No. 8: It's good to have friends and have fun.

I miss my friends back home so much. I only get to talk to them through Facebook, Skype, or emails. But I also met really amazing and good people here that I have built a friendship with. They are the ones I can just text or call and ask if they wanted to go out for a walk, or get a cup of coffee. They are the ones I get drunk with after a terrible week. I've only known them for months but I know they've got my back and I've got theirs.

Lesson No. 9: There's always Skype.

I miss Dinuguan, fire crackers every New Year's eve, the pollution and traffic jams, the summer heat, the pristine beaches, speaking and cursing in Filipino, ABS-CBN and GMA, Route 196 and music gigs, the UP Ikot and the Sunken Garden, isaw, TriNoma, the MRT, mangoes, Beef Yakiniku at Teriyaki Boy, and most of all, my family and friends. So learn how to use Skype.

There are a whole lot of lessons that I learned here that I haven't written, but the greatest lesson of all: Look for reasons to be happy, wherever you are. Even when you are away from the place you call home.

And by the way, I now know how to pronounce "pomegranate." Haha.

Sink or Swim

Kababasa ko lang nung blog mo. So dapat talaga paiyakin ako? Na kailangan ko pa magtago sa room dahil baka may makakita sa kin at maweirduhan.

Nakakatawa talaga ang relationship natin. Grabe na ang evolution. Natutuwa ako kasi mas naging close pa tayo. Na isa ka sa mga konting tao na nakakakilala talaga kung sino ako. Na nakakaalam na masama talaga ako in real life. Hahaha! Nakakausap kasi kita ng anything under the sun. Kahit about fashion, kabastusan, intellectual stuff, love life etc. etc. Alam mo kung pano ko nalaman na isa kang tunay na kaibigan? Kasi andyan ka kahit anong mangyari. Masaya man o malungkot. At isa ka sa konting tao na may lakas ng loob na magsabi sa kin ng KAILANGAN kong marinig, at hindi kung ano yung GUSTO kong marinig. In short, kaya mo kong i-solid and sinasabi mo yun dahil alam mong para sa ikabubuti ko yun. Di ka natatakot na baka magalit ako at mangbitch. Alam ko rin na alam mo na despite all that I have, may konting doubts pa rin at the back of my mind. Kilalang kilala mo talaga ko kaya di ko na rin kailangang magpanggap na mabait or strong or something.

Pag magkasama tayo, walang boring at patay na oras. Iba talaga pag kawavelength mo yung tao. Walang space out moments. Natotouch nga ako at kinukuwento mo sa kin lahat. At nakikinig ka pala talaga sa kin.
Hindi naman ako mamamatay or anything. Lilipat lang ako ng lugar. May Facebook at Skype naman. Alam mo ba bakit hindi ako gaano nalulungkot (aside sa fact na mamimiss ko kayo)? Kasi alam ko kahit after n years pa tayo magkita ulit, ikaw pa rin yan at eto pa rin ako. Haller? Nag-asawa na ako at lahat, may anak pa, nagbago ba ko? Same crazy old me. Pati nga mga kwento at dilemma ko yun pa rin di ba? Hahahaha!

Hindi ko alam bakit hindi ka naniniwala, pero ako kasi 100% sure at naniniwala sa kakayahan mo at sa kaya mong gawin. Whether magdecide ka na ipursue ang chem o magentertainment industry ka na lang or whatever, alam kong you will be successful. Huwag ka na kasi maghintay ng sipa, gawin mo na lang.

Hinihintay ka na kaya ng Netherlands hahaha! Pumunta ka na dun para mapuntahan kita at makapagkwentuhan tayo while smoking doobie and eating happy brownies. Nakakaexcite di ba? Laugh trip yun.

Huwag ka matakot sa future. Maexcite tayo kasi ang dami pang adventures. Ang dami pa nating pagkukuwentuhan na mga kagagahan, nakakalungkot, at nakakatawang bagay. Basta kung may problema ka, iSkype mo lang ako or Facebook. Hindi pa naman kita inabandona ever di ba? Tsaka pag nahirapan ako sa studies papaturo ako sa yo hahaha!

Years ago, we faced a difficult decision: it's either we sink or swim. I'm glad we chose to swim. At bonggang swimming ito parang butterfly lang sa Olympics at gold medal pa. We have a friendship like no other.

Tsongks, mamimiss kita ng sobra! Nakakainis ka kasi pinaiyak mo ko. But then, understandable kasi wala na kong ibang "tsong" kundi ikaw.