How to say "pomegranate"

There are no pomegranates in the Philippines. Therefore, as confident as I am with my English speaking skills, I mispronounced it when ordering a "pomegranate mojito." The poor waitress didn't understand me, and thankfully, my American colleague spoke and told her what I was trying to say. I always  find myself laughing when I remember that, and I realized that I have a whole bunch of bloopers and life lessons that I have gone through since I first got here.

I've been here in California since August and I must say that I'm having quite an interesting adventure. I pursued grad school abroad not just for the degree, but for the experience and to immerse myself in a different culture. I've lived here for more than half a year and I must say that the lessons that I have learned and the experiences that I have gained were far beyond just Chemistry. I know that I have some friends back home who are flying to the U.S. soon, and this might help a little bit.

Lesson No. 1: Never ever leave your trash on the table after eating at a fast food restaurant.

I was with two Filipino friends last August and we ate at In n' Out Burger. I finished eating, and I got up, getting ready to leave, when my friend from New Jersey told me to get my trash and dump it in the appropriate bin. The trash bins are marked: Compost, Recyclables etc. And yes, it took me some time to figure out where to dump my plastic cup, plate, and fork.

Lesson No. 2: Always say "to go" or "for here," and not "take out" when ordering at a restaurant. And you have to figure out what vegetables and condiments to put in your burger, how would you like it done (rare, medium, well done??), and other nitty gritty detail just to order a freakin' sandwich.

I've gotten used to it by now but it used to be kind of daunting. There were times when I was tempted to just say "surprise me." You have to figure out if you want Dijon mustard, pesto mayo, or whatever. Yes, ordering food is much simpler back home.

Lesson No. 3: Be prepared to answer the question "where did you learn how to speak good English?" a million times.

It IS flattering at first, but it comes to the point when it gets old and I'm just tired of explaining over and over again that my mom taught me English before I went to school, or that we learn the language since kindergarten, and that Filipinos are such grammar nazis. Add the fact that we are overexposed to Western movies, music, books, and other forms of entertainment.

Lesson No. 4: You are bound to hear racist comments. Keep your temper in check but be ready with a witty comeback when needed.

California is teeming with Asians. Half of the students in my classes are Asian, or from an Asian descent. But there are people who are sheltered and grew up in a place where they never saw a Korean, never heard a Chinese talk, or probably never even heard of the Philippines. There was this one guy who said: "Why would I even go to the Philippines? Maybe to get firearms or something..blah blah blah." As much as I would like to kick him in the nuts and tell him off for being an insensitive bastard, I just reminded myself that it isn't worth it. But yeah, the next time I hear him say something like that, I would be ready with a scathing retort.

Lesson No. 5: Fellow Filipino grad students are among the most helpful people that you will ever meet.

My first quarter in the U.S. was hell. A lot of people probably didn't know this, but I went through a whole lot of shit the first few months I was here. You would think that after getting knocked up and raising a kid, I've already experienced it all. But no. My little girl and I had to move out of Fairfield in the middle of the fall quarter because our living arrangement fell apart, we had to find a decent but affordable place in Davis, I had to find a daycare center (by the way, child care here costs 1000$/month), I didn't know anyone, and the weather was getting colder. My daughter got sick, I had to absent myself on the day of the midterm exam, find a doctor (which is extremely hard and expensive without insurance), and study on top of all of that. During times like these, Filipino friends (and a few Asian and American friends) are angels sent from heaven. I would be forever grateful, and I would try to pay it forward as much as I can.

It's different when you experience hardships in a foreign country. Your resourcefulness and strength is tested, and it's as if life is trying to find out your limits - how determined you are to survive and if you are still willing to go on despite everything.

Lesson No. 6: Be confident, but not arrogant.

A lot of grad students are arrogant, or come across as arrogant. Face it, we don't know everything. It's not even possible. Just know your strengths and be confident enough with what you know. You would learn loads of new stuff here (I know I did), but remain humble and always look back to where you came from. It's almost the same feeling during my first day of college in UP Diliman. Everyone was either valedictorian or salutatorian. Here, your classmate is either from UC Berkeley, or Northwestern. Your professor could be from CalTech or Harvard. Hell, you could probably be even talking to the next Nobel Laureate. It's intimidating and exciting at the same time. It's a one of a kind intellectual adventure and just make the most out of it.

Lesson No. 7: Do not be afraid to ask yourself "Why the fuck am I doing this?" during times of extreme stress (like exams, failed experiments etc.).

I've asked myself the same thing countless times - while I was trying to decipher the structure of a compound from an NMR spectra, trying to figure out if the reaction is conrotatory or disrotatory (and yes, UP-IC people, it's pronounced as CON-RO-TAY-TORY and DIS-RO-TAY-TORY), or even just after having a really crappy day. Sometimes, I really don't know the answer. But I went here to learn, and I guess I AM actually learning a lot of things.

Lesson No. 8: It's good to have friends and have fun.

I miss my friends back home so much. I only get to talk to them through Facebook, Skype, or emails. But I also met really amazing and good people here that I have built a friendship with. They are the ones I can just text or call and ask if they wanted to go out for a walk, or get a cup of coffee. They are the ones I get drunk with after a terrible week. I've only known them for months but I know they've got my back and I've got theirs.

Lesson No. 9: There's always Skype.

I miss Dinuguan, fire crackers every New Year's eve, the pollution and traffic jams, the summer heat, the pristine beaches, speaking and cursing in Filipino, ABS-CBN and GMA, Route 196 and music gigs, the UP Ikot and the Sunken Garden, isaw, TriNoma, the MRT, mangoes, Beef Yakiniku at Teriyaki Boy, and most of all, my family and friends. So learn how to use Skype.

There are a whole lot of lessons that I learned here that I haven't written, but the greatest lesson of all: Look for reasons to be happy, wherever you are. Even when you are away from the place you call home.

And by the way, I now know how to pronounce "pomegranate." Haha.